about a month ago something was really bothering me, and i didnt eat much for about 3 weeks cos i just felt so sick, the doc gave me some anti nausea tablets and i took some but i think it just wore off itself anyway.
but the week just gone, i kept waking up, feeling fine for about a minute, then my head goes all hot and tight and my muscles go stiff and id say i just have a total headfuck/brainfreeze and i feel unable to do anything. i didnt go to work this week, i just couldnt face it, even though i usually enjoy my job loads and its not too hard or anything..i just felt physically unable to do anything. i get tearful and restless and i hate when i get these little episodes. my head just goes funny and i get this weird rush through my body of complete anxiety and dont know what to do with myself.
im now taking amitriptyline but only 10mg a night which i know is very low, ive taken it before, and i think before it lifted me a bit so i hope it will again.
i've also had two PEP (personal effectiveness something) / CBT sessions and i have some literature to read through about it, i just need to train my mind to go into a new mindset, the sessions were really helpful.
and i know what is wrong with my thinking, i'm just always worrying about tomorrow and in 3 days time and next week, i barely focus on the here and now, my brains always off wandering into the future and it makes me sooo anxious.
i hate feeling anxious and that i want to cry :'(
and i must go to work this week, i dont want to wake up and have one of my headfuck horrible attack things, its horrible.
if anyone can help i would be so thankful...and i guess it just feels better writing it out, too.
and another thing, i think i worry about getting the 'attacks' or whatever they are, i worry about it happening and then it does happen, if that makes sense. i worry about where or when its going to happen, but nothing helps, laying in bed doesn't even make me feel better, doing something is better than doing nothing cos it takes my mind off it but its making myself do it. i need to stop thinking about it / over thinking in general....
that's all i can think of. if anyone's had the time to read this (thank you) and can give any advice i would be most grateful xxx peace