the original delicate flower. (delicatexflower) wrote in anxiously_yours,
the original delicate flower.

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fear of something good happening... for a change?

everytime i see my boyfriend, i fall harder & harder for him...
i've been with him for a year now and he has been nothing but amazing...
as much as i enjoy his company, i am finding myself facing insecurity.

it isn't caused by him,i know... it's something inside of me.
 why am i so insecure?
am i scared of falling in love with him?
am i scared of being hurt,  rejected, or seen as weak? ...

i know this is something i should share with him, but i can't...
not right now... i feel like i'm too much of a burden for him.

i don't know how he deals with me... i don't know how to
deal with myself and my
constancy struggle of myself and life.

maybe i'm scared of something good happening to me for a change...

i've been in love was my best friend for five years and
he didn't feel the same for me... we stopped being friends after a big fight...
maybe that has something to deal with it. 

i live with an abusive mother, too... she's very needy and clingy...
perhaps, that is it too... i honestly don't know.

 i just want this insecure feeling to STOP.
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